Fitz Ocampo

Lifeline 

Fitz Ocampo talks about art as an antidote to depression and a pathway toward peace 

June 3, 2019 / C-3 

Text by Hannah Jo Uy

For Fitz Ocampo, art was not merely a means of expres­sion—it was a lifeline during one of the darkest periods of her life. “Nearly 10 years ago, I was suffering from depression and, at that time, I never imagined that I would be painting again or even alive,” she says. “To be alive today is truly a gift, which I want to share in my art.” 

Painting is a process of self-em­powerment for the artist. With each work, Ocampo pushes herself to share her creative thoughts freely without judgment, pretensions, and self-criticism. “This is my way of heal­ing and learning to love myself,” she says. “I just let things flow naturally, freely expressing myself in my paint­ing.” Tackling deeply personal sub­ject matters, Ocampo endeavors to create authentically throughout the different stages of her life, as she can­didly bares her emotions, thoughts, and feelings on the canvas. “I push myself to turn the negative thoughts and experiences into something cre­ative and positive,” she says.

 

Ocampo continues to experience growth by breaking technical, concep­tual, and emotional boundaries in her practice. “In my self-discovery, my art changes,” she says, “which makes it different and new all the time.” This is reflected in the subtle changes throughout her oeuvre. Ocampo’s paintings of toys and scenes, repre­sentative of childhood and mother­hood, were depicted in muted hues— an ode to light and shadow. Subjects, often a single toy in a variegated or monochromatic background, alluded to her melancholic childhood and feel­ings of isolation. 

Ocampo’s latest show, “Time of Flight,” however, serves as a depar­ture from her usual aesthetic. In this latest collection, she explores the concept of time, inspired by its in­fluence over the changing seasons. This is examined through childhood objects, such as still life images of clocks and other children’s toys. There is an apparent intensity in the collection, as the paintings are more detailed and complex compared to her previous works, which were more minimalist in comparison. 

Perhaps the most marked change is that the paintings are colorful and playful, with Ocampo intentionally choosing an intense and bright palette. Opt­ing for highly-saturated colors is not only because she wants to take risks from her usual color scheme. It is a concerted effort to present her sub­jects in a happy and bright manner, reminiscent of the inviting nature of children’s books. “I created fairy tale-like subjects to invite the viewer into my colorful world,” she says. 

Ocampo’s decision to craft dream­like paintings may, for some, be ironic owing to the rather solemn underly­ing narrative of the collection, which delves into her struggles with infer­tility, mental illness, and being em­broiled in an unhappy marriage. The contradiction, however, is her way to control her narrative. “Through col­ors, I am able to show the brighter side of one’s difficulties in life and the positive side of every negative situation,” she says, adding that the fairies and fairy wings as a represen­tation of flight aim to symbolize the desire to rise above hopelessness. 

The pieces are deeply indicative of her personal epiphanies. Through the painting, In Time Spring Will Come, Ocampo voices out her initial strug­gles against not being able to conceive and how her patience was eventually rewarded. In Our Time Together Is as Colorful as Autumn Leaves, Oca­mpo shares the joys of motherhood. While Directing my Steps to Find my Wings in this Winter Time repre­sents her struggle with depression, in the work Praying For Summer All the Time, she shares her journey toward healing. “Each of these four major paintings shows my thoughts,” she says. “I want to share that difficulties in our lives are just sea­sons and time can really heal wounds.” 

Ocampo’s will­ingness to candidly speak of her per­sonal challenges is driven by her de­sire to connect with viewers who may be undergoing similar struggles and to cultivate a deeper appreciation of time, which is fleeting, yet valuable and precious. “A person can overcome problems, reach goals, and achieve dreams with patience,” she says. “In the process, one should learn to value time and enjoy the jour­ney. Seasons are like phases in our lives, which are temporary and ever changing. In life, we should never get stuck in a season. When one season ends, another season begins. There is a season of waiting, season of heal­ing, and season for growing.” 

Being a full-time mother in addi­tion to playing an active role in her family’s business, Ocampo uses sto­len moments to paint. “For me, to be able to paint an hour in a day is al­ready a huge accomplishment,” she says, adding that it took her two years to prepare for the ArtistSpace show. Despite the difficulties, art remains vital to Ocampo’s very being as paint­ing is not only instrumental to her healing process, but also a continuous meditative practice to keep her peace. “Art keeps me anchored, focused, and in control of my life,” she says. “I can never imagine my life without it.” 

“Time of Flight” is Fitz Ocampo’s seventh solo art exhibit to date. It was recently showcased at ArtistSpace at the Ayala Museum